'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
