You made me cry and you don't even care
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize