Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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