did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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