I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
