So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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