I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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