i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
