ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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