Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
