I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
