dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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