I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
