he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
