its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize