All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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