there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
