I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
