I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
