yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
there is puke in my bra ... again
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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