you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
