tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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