pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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