you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
