You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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