I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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