D3 body, D1 cock
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
