Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
