mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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