Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
