I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
