I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
