I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
