I got chris browned last night
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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