He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize