The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Randomize
