For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
