i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize