It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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