I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
