I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
