Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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