Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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