I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
