just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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