If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
