dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
