I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
