..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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