im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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