I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
