Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
