he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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