It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
