i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I got inside last night via doggy door
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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