okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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