I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize