I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
