Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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