May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize