Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
