respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
