the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
