Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
two words...techno handjob
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
