Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
