Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Randomize