did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
