glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
