My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
