well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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