That's intense
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
