omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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