she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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